i do feel a bit silly caught in such a redundant cycle of over-and-over's, but instead of being depressing, it's humorous and comforting. i like the sound of this disaster, mainly because "IT IS NOT SURPRISING THAT THE DEEPEST PROBLEMS ARE, IN FACT, NOT PROBLEMS AT ALL".
i got an A on my Probability & Statistics test, i met with Mr. Diaz and asked him a million important questions, i talked my counselor into switching me out of Aerobics and into Drama II for 6th period, and i wrote my angry critique toward Beowulf, which fucking sucks. i need to stop getting home and talking to Rasmus the Danish kid. he's hilarious and literally my twin soul. too bad he lives thousands of miles away and is only coming to visit for a week in March (do i see a pattern here? blonde and blue eyed, speaks another language...it needs to end). it's just those European guys are so different, so much more polite, determined, sexy, and well-read than guys here. they are not so caught up in manipulation and deceit and getting as much pussy as they can without their girlfriends finding out. or at least, in my experience they aren't. there is something about the blonde/blue-eyed combo that really gets me. i mean there was Marc, who was a total guilty break from Brian. then there was Nico in Columbia, and Rasmus, well, i met him when i was fourteen and had the most ridiculous baby crush on him. except now we can actually talk without me quoting an emo band, a virtue i did not enjoy in 8th grade. i seriously think that if he moved to the States, we would be too close to even have anything past friendship. we'd almost be like brother and sister-- we literally think, speak, act the same. there is a 6 hour time difference between US and Denmark, but he doesn't mind signing on at weird hours of the day to talk. that's how much we click, and it's funny that even online, i feel like i've been hanging out with this kid ever since i met him four years ago.
i'm happy tomorrow is Wednesday and Brian is coming down to Doral and i don't have a lot of homework. i want to smoke. i want to hug Brian. he pisses me off so much but i just feel bad because then his apologies are so pride-deteriorating, like he doesn't even care about his ego anymore. which is an improvement. on Thursday i take my senior pictures. wehhhhhh.
i need to stop being lazy and start filling in blanks and writing college essays. i requested my transcripts, that's a start. i asked for eight because that seems like a safe number to begin with, but i know i'll probably end up applying to fifteen colleges or so. for now, for sure i know Columbia, Stanford, Harvard, Yale, NYU, Penn State, Cornell, and UM (safety). i feel like a total overachiever, but i've worked hard, and the worst they can do is say no, right? plus i'm applying early decision to Columbia. if i make it in and the financial aid package is decent, i'm good.
everyone in school is FREAKING OUT about applying to college. i mean, i'm stressed too, but playing it off like a cool cucumber :) the cap advisor doesn't need more neurosis than he already has, considering he's also a part-time actor and owns a production studio, and his office is constantly filled with students bitching and whining and wanting to apply for the SAT past deadline.
it rained a lot today which was lovely. also, i kind of have a date with Giscard to go to the movies. i don't know if it's a date really. it sounds cheesy calling it that. the fact that he's so different from everyone else at school and that i'm just starting to get close to him makes it so exciting. he is so much more than he seems to be. i love that. people that don't give too much off at first. and plus, he helps me practice my French.
i want to get Starbucks just so i could read what the cup's "The Way I See It" quote is.